To understand how I approach couples psychotherapy, it is important to know that I draw first from a family systems perspective, a collection of related theories that sees couples as a system of two, each of whose individual behaviors will impact the other to create a larger whole.

In family systems there is never a 'bad guy', even in relationships that might feel terrible to its members. In fact, as long as both partners are willing to take a step back and look at how each may be contributing to what doesn't feel good in the relationship, then much can be done. The therapist's office becomes a safe space where a couple can explore how each member can shift her or his part of the 'system', freeing the other to respond differently too.

Having said this, it's important to note that couples therapy isn't just about behaviors. It's about the feelings that drive and are created by these behaviors; they are an integral part of this couples system. Therefore, when a destructive interaction between feelings and behaviors in a couple changes, then the whole relationship changes. Feelings of love, trust, safety, tenderness and passion – perhaps buried for a long time - can, and often do, resurface. When that kind of shift happens, and demonstrates some durability, the work is primarily done.

Couples psychotherapy can be short or long term, and, just like individual psychotherapy, it is always under the control of you the client.

Focus areas in my couples work include:

Communications Problems, Trust, Loss, Infidelity, Parenting and Substance Abuse (I work with couples straight and gay)